A Fish Called Kinsey
by sueKay-04
Summary: DISCONTINUED: Based upon the ending of Moebius...contains spoilers
1. Chapter 1

Hi there!

I started this story, and never went back to it...Two years later, it won a poll for which of my 'works in progress' I should complete...Hopefully I'll manage!

Summary - I think the title pretty much sums it up

Pairings – hints of S/J in later chapters

* * *

Jack hunched his shoulders at the tell-tale squeaking, wincing at the sound of buckling metal. A second later, the quiet peace of Minnesota was shattered, as Teal'c's deck chair gave way.

Jack winced at the 'oof' sound Teal'c made, as his butt hit the ground and the deck chair folded in on itself, trapping Teal'c inside.

"T…play nicely with the deck chair."

"I was attempting to do so O'Neill, but the chair does not perform within sufficient safety parameters."

"Well then…stop squirming in it!"

Daniel groaned, before getting up and helping Teal'c get out of his self-made prison.

Jack flickered a look in Sam's direction. She was beside herself with laughter as Daniel lost his balance, and landed on top of Teal'c, trapping himself within the chair's confines as well.

She let out a little snort, then felt a gaze upon her. She turned to see Jack, staring at her. His expression was soft as he spoke.

"Will we help the kids get out of this mess?"

"Yes sir!" She chuckled.

"Okay boys…hold still while we get you sorted."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a kid Jack." Daniel growled.

"Don't talk back to me when your ass is within kicking distance." Jack quipped.

Sam giggled again, and cast her line into the murky depths of the pond.

"Seriously T…You're over a hundred years old and I still need to teach you how to behave!" Jack grumbled, desperately trying to separate Teal'c from the deck chair.

Daniel sat on the ground a few yards away rubbing his side.

"Ow! Thanks Teal'c…I've got rust stains on my top!"

"I apologise Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said hurriedly as he was finally released from the chair.

"Guys…I think I've caught that fish!" Sam shouted, rising from her seat.

"What?" Jack spluttered.

"Yeah…c'mon…I don't know what I'm doing here…help me!"

Jack ran over to Sam's seat and took hold of the rod.

"It's okay...I got it…I got it." He said in reassurance.

Suddenly, the movement stopped, and on the other side of the pond, there was some disturbance, as the fish jumped out of the water, and once again disappeared.

"Crap!" Jack shouted. "Dammit!"

"I believe you are destined to never catch a fish O'Neill."

"Careful!" Jack waggled a finger at him. "Be very careful."

"How is he wrong?" Daniel added his two cents worth.

"…I have caught fish before Daniel...Lots of 'em...Big ones."

"Sure you have." Daniel smirked quietly.

"And pigs fly in Goa'uld Death Gliders." Sam said, a large grin on her face.

"Oh ha ha Carter…let it rest."

The chatter died down, and Teal'c got up from the ground.

"I am returning to the cabin O'Neill."

"Yeah I'm gonna head in as well…It's starting to get dark." Daniel said.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Is not!"

"Is too."

"Daniel, Jack…I mean sir…Stop the bickering…It's getting dark and I'm going to get something to eat." Sam smirked, got up and walked off.

"Well…I'm gonna stay out…catch that fish…you go on in…watch MY TV…eat MY food…drink MY beer."

"Actually sir…I'm going to have a glass of YOUR wine."

"Why thank you Carter…I was looking forward to that."

"I doubt I'll drink the whole bottle."

"Stranger things have happened." Daniel mumbled to Teal'c.

"Look who's talking." Sam growled.

With that, Sam, Daniel and Teal'c left Jack alone by his lake.

* * *

After kicking the ground for a few minutes, and plotting a way for him to 'guilt trip' Sam into replacing the bottle of wine, Jack decided he'd catch that fish…even if it took him all night… 


	2. Chapter 2

"5.30am." Jack stated.

"Stupid fish."

It had been seven or eight hours since Sam, Daniel and Teal'c had gone inside. Six hours since they'd told him to stop being childish and come inside. And three hours since that damned fish had last jumped out of the water to taunt him. Now daylight was reclaiming the lake, and Jack was pissed. Really pissed.

"Aw c'mon fish! Let me catch you! Tell ya what...I catch you, I take a picture, I put you back. Deal?"

The water didn't even ripple.

"Okay then. No deal."

Jack took the rod out of it's stand, intent on casting the line again. As he did, some tendrils of bright morning sunlight shone through the trees behind him. Without putting the rod down, he turned his body to spy the sunrise through the thick evergreen forest.

He heard the whirring of the reel too late, and with his body angled away from the water, he had no way to stop himself being yanked towards the lake. As his body was pulled along the little jetty, he yelled in complete frustration, before landing in the water.

"Aaaaaargh!"

Jack had always wondered just how deep his lake was.

* * *

Somehow, through the deep baritone of Teal'c's snoring, and Daniel's incessant sniffing, Sam heard muffled swearing from outside. 

Being careful not to make any noise (so as not to wake Daniel and Teal'c, or worsen her hangover). Carter tiptoed out of the den, reached for her jacket, and stepped outside into the crisp serenity of a Minnesotan morning.

The peace was shattered by the sounds of water, and wet clothing, as well as gurgling and cursing.

"For cryin' out loud! Stupid, lousy, fu-"

Jack was sitting in his lake, covered in reeds and gungey silt he'd churned up.

"Sir?" Carter tried her hardest to keep her giggles out of her voice, as she started to hold her sides.

"Carter." Jack continued to sit in the sludgy water.

After a pause, Carter said, "What are you doing?"

"I'm fishing, Carter."

Pursing her mouth, and struggling to contain her mirth, Carter began her retreat to the relative sanity of the cabin.

"Of course you are sir."

O'Neill watched her go, his deep blush of embarrassment hidden by the silty mud.

"Crap."

As the door to the cabin audibly closed, Jack sighed, slowly and carefully rising to his feet. Once he had a foothold in the silt, he grabbed at his rod, and internally winced when he realised the line had snapped.

Jack trudged back to the side of the lake with slow deliberate movements, sighing loudly every few squelchy steps. Once back on dry land, he turned to face the lake, which once more looked as peaceful as ever.

He addressed the fish.

"Look crappie...or whatever you are. I don't know how you got into my pond, but my pond has always been fish-less, and I like it like that...So this is your eviction notice...You get our, or I catch you and I eat you!"

Not caring how silly he looked or sounded, he continued, "You're just like that Kinsey was...Slippery, elusive and...Kinsey-like...So I'll call ya Kinsey."

Jack heard a sniggering sound, and turned to the cabin.

Daniel, Teal'c and Sam had their faces pressed to the glass of the kitchen window, and looked like bemused children watching a parent who'd finally lost it. As soon as Jack locked eyes with the trio, they sheepishly ducked out of sight.

"Okay Senator fish...Round One to you...But it'll be Round Two to me!"


End file.
